You Might Be a Nurse If . . .

…You have the bladder capacity of 5 people.

…You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance.

…You believe that "ask a nurse" is an evil plot.

…You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase "wow, it's really quiet" is uttered.

…You mutter, "great veins" when being introduced to a stranger.

…You believe chocolate is a food group.

…Your favorite sedative is exhaustion.

…You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

…You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say, "I have no idea how that got stuck in there..

…You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control.

…You have ever had a patient say, "but I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant, how can I be having a baby?"

…You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food.

…Your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flinstone's..

…Your alcoholically challenged patients know you by your first name, and can point to "their room".

…The hems in your scrub pants are held in with steristrips.

…You refer to motorcyclists as "organ donors."

…You are the only one at the dinner table NOT allowed to talk about your day at work.

…You've ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you, "I'm afraid of shots."

…You believe that the sight of a full moon can ruin a perfectly good day.

…You stare at someone in utter disbelief when he or she actually covers his or her mouth when coughing.

…You think of chocolates, coffee, Coca-Cola and the cafeteria's frozen yogurt when anyone mentions the 4 food groups.

…You've ever sworn you are going to have "NO CODE" tatooed on your chest.

Contributed by: Kimoi